How Does Overthinking and Perfectionism Influence Your Communication?
The relationship between overthinking and energy leak
🗓 6/17/2025 – Series 1: Overcoming Obstacles to Mindful Communication
Article #10: The Final Step—Releasing the Pressure to Get It Just Right
Welcome to the final article in Series 1 of Words That Work — a 10-part journey to help you overcome the hidden inner blocks that prevent confident self-expression and clear communication.
This series has explored internal obstacles like self-doubt, fear of conflict, emotional triggers, overthinking, and more—the invisible forces that shape how we speak, listen, and show up in the world.
Today’s message is for those of us who overthink our words so much… we stop speaking altogether.
"You don’t need the perfect words—you need to prevent energy leak."
The Hidden Cost of Overthinking
Have you ever stayed silent because you didn’t know how to say it “the right way”?
Have you ever rehashed a conversation over and over afterward, picking apart every word you said?
If so, you’re not alone.
Overthinking is the perfectionist’s way of staying safe.
It says, “If I can just get the words exactly right, I won’t be judged. I won’t mess up. I won’t get hurt.”
But that kind of safety comes at a cost:
Mental exhaustion
Indecisivness
Connection
Confidence
Self-trust
Overthinking may feel protective, but it keeps you stuck in your head—and out of the moment.
Overthinking consumes energy, leading to mental exhaustion and a depletion of energy.
Why Overthinking Hijacks Communication
Is it clarity, or is it fear? That’s the question.
Overthinking often sounds smart… but it’s usually driven by fear.
It convinces you that:
There’s a single “right” way to say things
If you get it wrong, you’ll be judged or rejected
You should wait until it’s perfect before speaking
But here’s the truth:
Overthinking isn’t clarity—it’s rigidity, isolation, and distortion.
Why? Because it traps you in your head and isolates you from reality. And isolation leads to division, which muddles your decision.
Mindful Communication Invites You to Be Real, Not Perfect
To be real doesn’t not require perfection, but honesty.
If you want to communicate with presence, clarity, and ease—
The need to be perfect will get in your way.
Try this:
Check your intent.
Ask: “Am I trying to connect—or trying to impress?”
Slow down.
When your mind starts spinning, and your words start rushing, pause and return to your breath. A calm mind speaks with ease. A chaotic mind does the opposite.
Use transitional phrases to create space.
You don’t need a rehearsed script. Try: “Here’s what I’m trying to say…” “I wonder ..” “I am curious to learn…”
A useful transitional phrases make your words more composed and empathetic.
Ask questions
The goal of asking questions is to gather information so that you can make informed decisions.
This skill alone will help you eliminate assumptions, distortions, comparisons -all the reasons that lead to overthinking.
Prioritize connection over perfection
What people remember most is how you made them feel, not whether you had perfect control of your words.
Connection wins over perfection.
Clarity grows from awareness, not control.
The more you accept your humanity, the more assertive your voice becomes.
Try This Challenge:
Think of a past conversation you’ve been overthinking—before or after it happened.
What are you afraid might happen?
What story are you telling yourself?
What would it sound like to say what you really mean, even if it’s not perfect?
Now write a real, honest version of that message—and notice how you feel.
Let yourself feel the relief of being fully expressed.
Share Your Experience?
Where does overthinking creep into your communication?
What helps you stop spinning and speak with presence?
Comment or reply—I’d love to hear your story.
(Your insight might free someone else from the perfection trap.)
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"The most powerful conversations come from people who are being real."
— River
Until next time, thanks for choosing words that work.
~ River
Series 1 Complete!
Stay tuned for Series 2. Coming soon